Attention warriors! This is a notice to all brave would-be heroes. There is a significant danger of going on any further. You were once safe in the safe haven you called home. But now this is the real world. So you best be careful if you want to trek on.

First off there is surely man of questionable disposition. He is difficult to pass, and if he looks at you for longer than a moment's glance, be sure that you will not survive alive. He guards the bridge to the north. To get anywhere in your journey, you must pass this brute. My deepest hopes for you.

After passing this figure, you'll find yourself on ground level, facing an assortment of wild animals including, but not limited to, ravenous wolves, filthy rats, poisonous snakes, and large (albeit not giant) spiders. If you make it past this, may the gods carry you further, because you've been very fortunate. Your eyes may not be prepared for what is to come next, so I shall do my best to prepare you for the unsightly.

Beyond the wild beasts of the grassy floor lies the remains of my house. Now this is a personal story I wish to convey only in deep regret and sorrow. You see, before this area was over run by the current flora and fauna, this was my home. I lived there with my wife, and we lived a good life. But one night after getting drunk with Obi and Willie ruined my marriage. You see, we had Nora there as well. This was back in her promiscuous days. And you see, we had an affair. It lasted a long time - almost eleven minutes. But when it was over, I was guilt ridden for a day or two. And in my guilt, I finally told my wife what happened. She said, "I knew you did that." I said, "How did you know?" She responded, "because I was at the bar with you that night." I was in utter shock. She said a few other choice words and that was the last I saw her. Moments after she left, my house caught on fire. I have my suspicions she was behind it, but it's always possible that a legendary minotaur mage burned it instead. But I guess that's karma for you.

In any case, if you get into the basement of my house, there's a wall that was broken down and broke way into another tunnel. This tunnel leads through hordes of creatures I don't dare think about. They are the trolls, who dress in tight leather from head to toe. Though fashionable, these slow moving guys are impervious to most damage done to them. Below them live the orcs. They take the troll clothing and add studs to them. I believe they're trying to attract mates with their more formidable clothing, but I haven't done the research to verify this. Still further down lives the horned minotaurs. If you get all the way down to their living quarters, they entrust the orcs and keep wolves as pets! They hold treasures in their store room and guard it constantly.

I have reason to suspect my wife swiped my bow and sold it to them. If anyone should find it, I request you return it to me. I will buy whoever brings me the bow a beer for 2 gold pieces.

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